Baking Bread

I have debated whether or not to keep this blog of mine going. Life is busy and chances are that I will not do a good job posting regularly. The probability is high that I will forget my username and password for the hundredth time because I have the mind of a goldfish.
But today I am bored at work so I will write anyway.

Dear Summer,
The Spring has come and passed...Dublin, Oxford, London all feels so far away, like distant memories already. It is July now and I am living in Seattle, working two jobs. The weather for the past few weeks has been Eden like...so warm and lovely. I have enjoyed biking to and from work and sitting on the deck of my shared apartment, eating dinner as the blue sky is painted with streaks of pink and pale purple.
Today is overcast and cold. I woke up this morning disoriented because it was dark outside. I am crossing my fingers in hopes that it doesn't rain today because: 1) I have to ride my bike home from work 2) My car window is broken and although mostly up all the way, I don't want a little pool of water on my front seat. 3) It is Friday.
But I do have other things on my mind besides the weather- like baking bread for instance.
Last Saturday when I was at church an announcement was made asking for volunteers to help prepare the communion bread and sanctuary before service. My heart leapt within me! I almost shot my arm up like I was in 4th grade again- overeager and excited to participate.
For the past month I have been thinking about ways to get more involved in the church community I am apart of. There have been the normal requests for help with the Powerpoint, help with music etc...but I just couldn't get excited about any of it. But when the invitation came to bake bread, I knew this is how I wanted to participate.
For me, communion is central to my proclamation of faith. "Christ's body broken for you. take. eat." This is powerful for me because it is so tangible. The sensory experience is important for me. I need to be looked in the eye and called by name, to open my palms and recieve the dense, dark, sweet bread and taste it; to drink from the chalis of strong red wine and feel it travel down my throat in a thick warm current.
None of the broken saltine crackers and dixy cups of grape juice for me- I want the real deal.
This is true about my longing for God in general. I am so tired of the commodified Christ; of the club we misscall the church. I want the real thing- a real faith that is lived out and a real relationship with God that is honest about the beauty and brokeness that surrounds us -not just a device to comfort ourselves or make us feel self-righteous.
So, baking bread. I am very excited eventhough it means going to church 5 hours early to bake and set up the altar and sanctuary. I will report after my induction tomorrow.
In the mean time, here is something I have been thinking about in connection to baking bread.

"For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast."
It comes from a book called The Prophet by Kalhil Gibran, and I think it is lovely.